“He was funny and seemed nice,” said Sheri May. “I wanted to be transparent if we were going to the next level so I told him about my disability.”
A silent pause followed. Then May realized LOLs, gifs, 160-character texts and emojis revealed only so much about someone.
#RedFlag 1: “But you’re so pretty and smart!” cried Bob Sparks in disbelief. “I’m sorry for you, but hey, at least you don’t look blind. No worries; I don’t see your disability — I see you. Oops, I didn’t mean to use ‘see,’ sorry. I should watch it. Oh, damn it, I did it again.”
The deluge of word vomit was flowing. May was drowning.
#RedFlag 2: “I can’t imagine what your life must be like. You know what though? I’m an SPCA volunteer and I’m kind to animals. So I’d still date you,” he said, resting his gaze on her boobs. “I’m glad I’m not blind, otherwise I wouldn’t see your beauty. You’re gorgeous for a blind person!”
Sparks felt suave — he was dishing her compliments despite her disability! But May’s patience cup had truly now runneth over with the diarrhea of ignorance spewing from his mouth.
To salvage the downward spiral of conversation, May deflected to education and personal interests.
#RedFlag 3: “You went to Harvard and have a real job?” he continued. “I purchased mine online from an accredited university. I didn’t know the disabled were even educated. That’s pretty incredible!”
It was growing to be a full-blown bulls**t tsunami. May needed a life raft.
#RedFlag 4: “How many fingers am I holding up now?” asked Sparks with a laugh, pleased he was also showing his humorous side.
“I’m going to throw up!” said May, pushing past him to the restroom.
#RedFlag 5: “You’re so inspiring, Keri!” Sparks yelled after her, simultaneously checking out her butt and calling her by the wrong name. “You’re blind and can navigate your way to the ladies’. I love that!”
Safe within the confines of the restroom, May texted her emergency contact: “#Redflagsssss. Date couldn’t be any worse. Come get me.”
As she did so, May heard tapping on the door, and a whispering Sparks: “Hey … your place or mine?”