Damien Green entered his rheumatologist’s office on Tuesday morning excited to meet with his favorite doctor. The 63-year-old Dr. Donna Evans had always treated him with particular kindness and care. Green almost considered her a friend — well, as much as you can be friends with a person you pay $50 to talk to for 15 minutes.
“Unlike my other providers, Donna really gets me,” Green said. “She knows everything about me: my relationship with my parents, my first dog’s name, my work drama. She once told me I look like a young Johnny Mathis, which I think is a compliment.”
But as Green walked to his exam room, he heard words that shattered everything he thought he knew about his relationship with Evans. The doctor was sitting with another patient, laughing at a charming anecdote about his wacky coworker. And then, the final blow. Evans turned to the patient and told him: “You know, you’re the spitting image of a young Johnny Mathis.”
Green was devastated. He entered his exam room in an even more dejected state than the typical 24-year-old at a rheumatologist’s office.
“I thought we had something special,” Green said. “Now I know I’m just like all the others. I don’t know how I can get through this appointment without letting it show how hurt I am.” Thankfully, Green’s excruciating physical pain during the appointment masked his emotional suffering, and Evans seemed not to notice anything awry.
When asked about her relationship with her patient, Evans was less emotional.
“Oh, Damien? Nice boy. Some of the strangest ankles I’ve ever seen.”
Green’s dilemma was soon resolved when he heard that Evans would no longer be covered under his insurance, so he would have to switch to a new provider anyway.