Mary Clyde could not wait for the DNC this year. She eagerly looked forward to the workshops, especially “Going Full Frontal with an Ostomy 101,” naked networking and, of course, the late-night parties that would take place. However, it turned out that the annual convention was a bigger deal this year — or so she thought.
“When I got to Chicago, there were signs for the DNC everywhere,” she exclaimed. “I mean, usually it’s a little hush-hush to keep out any gawkers, but this year there were even people talking about it on the airport shuttle bus! Though they didn’t seem to be that interested in my presentation about how to protect your wheelchair from bodily fluids.”
Bonnie Naldamar, a lifelong Democrat, however, was having the exact opposite experience after arriving at her hotel and seeing signs for the DNC everywhere. “It doesn’t seem like many delegates are here at all,” she thought. She was also puzzled by the many signs that mentioned a strict “N95 Masks Required” policy, when the Democrats had in fact advertised that their event would be superspreading of more than just hope and vibes.
When Naldamar saw a sign inviting her to meet her fellow DNC attendees, however, she put on her favorite Rosie the Riveter T-shirt and went on down to the ballroom where she shortly encountered … a lot of balls. Also breasts, elbows, knees, tummies, butts, walkers, wheelchairs, canes and service dogs. In fact, her shirt got a lot of attention, as she was the only one wearing one at all. Naldamar finally figured out that the DNC, the Disabled Nudist Convention, just so happened to book a hotel in the greater Chicago area the same week as the Democratic National Convention, and neither side was aware of the other’s existence.
Luckily, most of the attendees on both sides took it in stride and thought that the mixup was hilarious.
“I spent 30 minutes at a happy hour lounge getting some very weird looks and strangely muttered comments before someone told me that because I was blind I might not know that I wasn’t wearing any clothes,” Bill Oak, who is legally blind, recounted with a chuckle. “Well, I knew THAT! What I didn’t know was that everybody else WAS!”
A Secret Service agent doing a walk-through agreed. “I was a bit disturbed at first, but these people are great because there is nowhere for them to conceal … well, anything.”