Humans are curious creatures, but curiosity doesn’t entitle someone to another’s private medical history. So to satiate those who want to ask that disabled guy in the grocery store what’s up, I’ll be answering your burning questions about disabilities.
Is it contagious?
No. However, it has been prophesied that when the purest of heart sits upon the golden wheelchair, they will bring forth the Era of the Spoons. Ableists will quiver in fear of the armies of spoonies, and their ears will ring from the squeaking of wheels. Stairs will be abolished. Eternal 504s, accommodations and inclusion will reign.
Is it permanent?
The condition(s) are chronic, but the vibes are iconic, babyyy! Yes, I’ll be rockin’ and rollin’ till the day I die or my wheelchairs break.
Always get a warranty.
How do you pee?
As any normal person does: from my armpit.
What happened to you?
It all started at birth. I grew into a very regular human organism. I did regular human things that people often enjoy, such as consuming sustenance that is edible to Homo sapiens. My biological vessel of consciousness experienced difficulties with these routine humanoid activities.
Can you have sex?
Can any of us really HAVE sex? How can one person be in possession of such a momentous action as the joining of flesh — or, as some believe, souls? The human mind can only contain and consciously process a mere fraction of this act and the rush of chemicals it brings.
That being said, I’m free next Saturday and my wheelchair is strong enough for two …
Fine, I’ll Answer Your Burning Questions About Disability
