Let’s face it: The ableds are hard to understand. When were all the secret rules created? Why can’t you listen to the same song 20 times in a row? What do you mean it’s “weird” to eat a grilled cheese every day for every meal?
We finally have a view into their world. Twenty-five-year-old student Mark Quinn has recently become fluent in abled, or “pre-disabled,” after a chance meeting with his cousin’s best friend’s mom. Momma D, as she’s called, wrapped Quinn in a floral-scented bear hug upon introduction. He noted this extremely casual greeting and engaged in the common ritual of small talk for approximately eight minutes.
“You see, most people can’t relate to those abled folks. But me? I met one specific abled person once, so I consider myself a part of their community now,” Quinn said.
Quinn took quick mental notes of his singular interaction to review and analyze later, and he used them to form stereotypes he’ll cling to for life. With this deep well of knowledge, he’s cracked the code to abled communication!
Now that he’s an expert, he charges by the hour for consultations and is planning to release a handbook for the neurally vanilla.