Noah Williams, a 28-year-old chronically ill man, has finally decided to try out negative thinking after years of being told that positive thinking will make him feel better.
“I’ve tried almost everything at this point, but I never even thought to try out negative thinking until a fellow disabled friend suggested it. I’ve been thinking as negatively as possible for a couple of weeks now, and the change has been remarkable! Sure, my symptoms are exactly the same, but I’m really enjoying being angry and bitter.”
There has been growing evidence recently that negative thinking could be extremely beneficial for chronically ill patients. Positive thinking is beginning to be viewed as an outdated recommendation. Studies clearly show that most chronically ill people who try positive thinking don’t see an improvement in symptoms. These findings also reveal that most who try out negative thinking don’t see an improvement in symptoms but, paradoxically, seem to be happier.
Researchers are baffled.
“I feel like shit all the time; it really sucks!” Williams tells us with a huge grin. “I’m never going to get better, and it’s actually more likely that I’m going to get progressively worse!”
When asked for any closing thoughts, Williams adds, “They’re also finding out that the only thing more beneficial than negative thinking is able-bodied people donating directly to my Venmo.”