COVID recently sat down for an exclusive interview with the Squeaky Wheel. Check out this socially distanced excerpt.
Interviewer: It’s been awhile. How have you been?
COVID: “Don’t call it a comeback. I been here for years.” (Laughs). No, I’m good. Can’t complain.
Interviewer: What are your thoughts on Trump’s second term?
COVID: Trump and I had a great time during his first election and infection, but this go round, it is going to be wild! An anti-vaxxer Secretary of Health combined with my variant extravaganza — uh, did someone say dream team?!?
Interviewer: What changes do you anticipate in 2025?
COVID: Trump will be cleaning house but not with sanitizing products. Vaccines? Out. Boosters? Goodbye. Masks? Not even for surgeons. Let my freedom ring!
Interviewer: Do you have any fears about the new administration?
COVID: Death by bleach injection.