Politics

COVID Super Amped for New Administration 

COVID recently sat down for an exclusive interview with the Squeaky Wheel. Check out this socially distanced excerpt. 

Interviewer: It’s been awhile. How have you been?

COVID: “Don’t call it a comeback. I been here for years.” (Laughs). No, I’m good. Can’t complain. 

Interviewer: What are your thoughts on Trump’s second term?

COVID: Trump and I had a great time during his first election and infection, but this go round, it is going to be wild! An anti-vaxxer Secretary of Health combined with my variant extravaganza — uh, did someone say dream team?!?

Interviewer: What changes do you anticipate in 2025?

COVID: Trump will be cleaning house but not with sanitizing products. Vaccines? Out. Boosters? Goodbye. Masks? Not even for surgeons. Let my freedom ring! 

Interviewer: Do you have any fears about the new administration?

COVID: Death by bleach injection.

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