In an utterly confusing and perplexing development, sources have reported that Everett Miller, a 25-year-old disabled, nonbinary person, has been placed in a nursing home for some goddamn reason.
After their parents decided that they were unable to care for Everett anymore, their dad, Victor Miller, reportedly spent about two seconds looking for a suitable environment for his young adult offspring before he pretty much gave up and decided a nursing home was “close enough” and “the best we could do.”
“I don’t know, man. I just got here the other day. All the staff are surprised at how ‘well-spoken’ I am and already making jokes about how lucky I am to be so young and good-looking. Cool, I guess.”
Everett’s parents were concerned about the fact that Everett stayed in their room all the time, never bothering to go out and try to make friends. So naturally they thought the solution to that was to throw Everett in a nursing home where everyone is at least 40 years older than them! Good going, Millers!
“Look, we want them to be an independent person, but at least we’re not stuck taking care of them anymore!” said Victor. Reporters concurred. After all, it’s not like he’s Everett’s dad who’s meant to love them forever or anything.
Everett soon reported that several pieces of hardware on their wheelchair are damaged, which the staff seems unable or unwilling to address. And that’s just great. Being bedridden is what any young person needs!
One low-level, clearly underpaid staffer anonymously confided to the Squeaky Wheel that, while Everett seems chill, it isn’t clear to anyone what the fuck they’re doing there.
“This place is not for them! And all these ‘lost generation’ folks are transphobic as hell! Good luck to them, honestly.”