So you want to date a disabled person? Of course you do! But first, there are some things you should know:
1. No accessible bathroom = no date.
Hot girls have IBS; this is a fact. You can’t just take a disabled baddie to a restaurant without an accessible toilet for her to wreck. She’s past the point of caring — she’s getting the spicy food and margs at the Mexican restaurant. She’s going make it YOUR problem soon.
For God’s sake, check for a good ramp too!
2. The mobility aids are sacred.
They’re carrying/rolling/otherwise assisting in transporting precious cargo and we expect them to be treated as such. There will be no grabbing of the wheel-throne, playing with the cane or goofing around with any of it! You wouldn’t do that with a king’s scepter, would you? Don’t do it with these either, peasant.
3. The splints stay on.
When it’s time for business, the splints are staying on. We’re bracing for a good time and it really displays your lack of skill if you’re not down.
4. Bad parking spaces are a thing of the past.
One of the many benefits of dating disabled people is the parking. Roll with us and it’s front row for life!
5. We have other options.
Don’t be fooled: You’re not doing some big act of charity by pity-dating the poor cripple. No, we have options — LOTS of options.
6. We have disability rizz.
You’ve probably heard the corny pickup lines that congest dating apps. But have you ever heard these?
“You’re looking severely deficient in IgMe.”
“I’m always tired, but never of you.”
“Want to give ‘power wheelchair’ a whole new meaning?”