And now, we’re giving one away! Click here to enter our SureHands Lift Sweepstakes.
Gliding through the air like a plastic bag in a Katy Perry song, disabled man Leonard Boatsmen can’t stand the thought of making contact with the floor beneath him. Thanks to a brand new SureHands ceiling lift, he no longer has to worry about such plebeian discomforts.
“When you think about it, all lower surfaces are merely flattened piles of fallen germ. They’re where the dirty dusts of life go to settle,” he told us. “I even roll my mud-caked wheelchair tires across these floors. Gross!”
With the new ceiling lift, Boatsmen is able to transfer easily from his wheelchair to his bed, and vice-versa. As someone who loves travel, Boatsmen notes it’s the perfect way to travel from one spot to a different spot a few feet away.
“Oh I love this baby. Whether I’m arguing on the phone with my insurance company from my bed or arguing on the phone with my insurance company from my wheelchair, the lift gives me the freedom to ponder our crumbling healthcare system from either location.”
When asked how the transfer experience feels, Boatsmen lit up. “You see, I’ve always dreamed of being the prize inside an arcade claw machine game. Now I can just close my eyes and pretend I’m a knockoff plush Pikachu as I’m hoisted up into the heavens.”
Ever since the local disability community heard about Boatsmen’s lift, they’ve been lining up at his home to try it. “For nondisabled folks, no, I don’t let them try it. It’s their earthly obligation to drag their feet across the planet beneath them.” He added, “But for my disabled peers? They literally won’t stop showing up at my home because they know I love to give ’em a free ride.”
A subtle grin appeared as he continued. “Plus a few of them thought it was a sex swing — and let’s just say it’s not NOT a sex swing.”*
*We at the Squeaky Wheel remind our readers that transfer equipment is intended for individual use only, and using it for your freaky shit is probably not safe.
While lifts like Boatsmen’s are crucial tools for independence, not all disabled people are fortunate enough to afford them. They can cost more money than the federal Medicaid asset limit allows you to save and are often not covered by insurance plans. We at the Squeaky Wheel believe disabled people deserve access to the equipment they need, and we have partnered with the generous folks at SureHands Lift & Care Systems to give a custom lift solution to one lucky recipient.
Additionally, financial assistance and resources do exist: 70% of SureHands customers get their lifts funded through third parties. Here are 6 resources to get started.
To enter the sweepstakes and see full terms and conditions, visit https://thesqueakywheel.org/surehands-lift-care-systems-giveaway.