Disabled People — They’re Just Like Us!

They do laundry! Shockingly, disabled people like clean clothes. And they are even more like us because they hate doing laundry. But, disabled or able-bodied, who doesn’t want to smell like Tide Spring Meadow or Clean Breeze?

They brush and floss! Disabled people brush and floss in the morning AND at night. Sometimes they might even add a brush-and-floss session after a garlicky lunch or before kissing — especially before kissing because it might lead to ...

They copulate! If you’re wondering, the answer is, “Yes, disabled people have sex!” So remember contraception, because disabled people copulate responsibly too.

They watch movies! Disabled people love watching movies. And if you’re thinking, “No, the blind can't see” — Duh, audio descriptions?!

They drink alcohol! Disabled people drink beer, wine and cocktails. They’re waiting for a “Disabled Night Special” because it’s unfair that women get a “Ladies’ Night” and two-for-one deals or drink free with admission. Disabled people love cheap drinks and freebies too.

They exercise! Disabled people run, bike, lift weights and, with adaptations, can do as much as their nondisabled peers! Ever watch the Paralympics? There are disabled people who are couch potatoes, too, in case you there, watching telly all day, are wondering (and feeling a little slighted that disabled people aren’t like you).

They have bodily functions! No, that extra big bathroom stall isn’t for yoga or #3 on this list. Disabled people have bodily functions too, like bowel movements and tooting. And, of course, peeing, which is why they avoid eating asparagus.

They laugh! Disabled people laugh, especially at funny jokes! Admittedly, they might fake laugh if no one else is laughing at your joke, because empathy can go a long way (hint, hint, at the person gawking at disabled people).

They use their phones! Disabled people are glued to their phones just like us: scrolling on social media, navigating, etc. And yes, even the blind use their phones too. So if you’re staring at disabled people, they’re probably snapping pics of you with your jaw dropped and posting them on the “We Can’t Believe What Able-Bodied People Think About Us!” Reddit forum.

They eat food! Drumroll! Contrary to what people think, disabled people actually eat. And it’s mostly real food like burgers, sushi, etc. Yes, unbelievable! And don’t worry, 99.99% of disabilities are not contagious, so sharing food with them is perfectly safe. Except for asparagus, just no on the asparagus.