Zak Clarke, football player and senior at Bayside High School, is on a mission to become the most popular boy in his class. And he knows just the way to do it.
Ask a disabled girl to prom. Duh.
Our news team spoke to Clarke’s PR manager, sophomore Dexter Marshall, head of the Bayside Math League. We spoke to Marshall while he was working remotely (shoved in a locker by Clarke) and munching on a delicious meal (lunch money stolen by Clarke; sustaining nourishment by looking at Harvard acceptance letter and repeating “soon” under his breath).
There are two disabled girls in school, Layla Diaz and Hope Martin. Before we could ask who Clarke was taking to prom, Marshall handed us a typed statement from Clarke, riddled with typos:
“im honnored to ask my date (layla/hope) 2 promm. its like when u get a touchdown in football . to me (down syndrome/wheelchair) is not disability. they r normal jus lik us. can’t wait for prom. [crossed out] the only ‘special need’ they will have with me is needing more time together.”
Once Marshall realized he accidentally gave us the unedited statement, he spoke to us “off the record” (but we lied about that).
“So, putting it gently, Zak isn’t entirely sure which girl to ask to prom. Wheelchair [Diaz] is a great choice, and even better in this case because she’s also technically one quarter Hispanic. But Down syndrome [Martin] just screams classic prom date. I don’t know. I DON’T KNOW!”
Chivalry isn’t dead, but it is on life support. In an act of indecisiveness, Clarke asked both girls to prom at the same time during a football game. “Better odds,” he told us before running onto the field with a dream.
Diaz and Martin both laughed. They laughed and laughed, and then the entire stadium joined in. Martin grabbed a mic and said, “We’re girlfriends!” Then she kissed Diaz.
If Clarke had done his research, he would have already known this. He also would have known that the two girls are the most popular girls in school — totally and completely out of his league. THIS is what dreams are made of!