I will respect the privacy of my patients. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of releasing records.
“Except that the art of comedy holds supremacy over all other things, including medicine, and certainly over the privacy of the patient when they burn their pubic hairs on the stovetop.” So reads an addendum to the HIPAA-cratic oath from Dr. Julius Riviera, resident physician at Green Bay Baptist Medical Center. He has who insisted the Squeaky Wheel refer to him as “Snatch Adams” for the remainder of this piece.
Adams, who graduated from the Ross University School of Medicine in Barbados, was previously expelled from Harvard Medical School after using research cadavers to reenact classic Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton scenes. While the reasons for his dismissal are self-evident, Adams has gained attention in medical circles for putting a classic idiom to the test: Is laughter really the best medicine? Is laughter medicine at all?
“Yes, and yes,” said Adams. He draws on anecdotal evidence to argue that humorous interactions with healthcare professionals correlate with stronger health outcomes for patients.
When asked to share a typical story, he said, “A husband and a wife got in a fight, and it ended with one of them coming into the ER with half of a broomstick stuck in the anus. I said, ‘Hey, it’d be much easier to sweep the floor if you put some straw on that thing!’”
But not everyone agrees with his approach. Said a colleague, “Strictly on style, he is the corniest, cheapest man who has ever considered himself funny. What is funny about telling a man who is two weeks from hospice that you can prescribe him something for his ‘broken funny boner’? And what is funny about ten minutes later telling the story of that interaction to a woman admitted for a psoriasis flare-up?” The doctor sighed.
Regarding his critic, Adams said, “Dr. Himmler over there would be more fun if he didn’t have a hemorrhoid, but that’s not his fault. Oh wait, never mind, I know how he got it. Yes, it is.” He then began to whistle the Snow White classic, “Whistle While You Work,” nonchalantly. “Overall, I am a good doctor and I apologize for nothing. Tragedy is going to the hospital for a quadruple bypass, and comedy is the White Castle Crave Case that kills you afterward. And I can assure you I keep the tragedies of others in utmost confidence.”