Listen, Wendy, I think there’s been a misunderstanding about that gift you got me.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m really happy that you were able to go on such an amazing trip to California, and I’m glad you took something in when I explained spoon theory to you. Or, well, I’m glad you remembered that the word “spoon” is important to me, at least.
Frankly, I think the fact that you were thinking of me as you visited that museum exhibit on cannibalism is really touching! But I have to ask: Do you have a gift receipt?
I feel like there must have been some kind of miscommunication when we talked about spoon theory. I know you were really focused on the Pokémon battle right then, and I genuinely hope you got that shiny.
But now, I hope you listen when I tell you that spoon theory isn’t just that spoons are good and disabled people want them! It’s a metaphor for how we have to conserve our energy every day. It goes a little deeper than hanging a beautiful ceramic replica of Hannibal Lecter’s tableware on my wall.
The thing is, I really wish I could have gone on this girls’ trip with you. It’s just that my chronic illnesses would have kept me from keeping up with the gang. I couldn’t have gone on the 10-hour haunted walking tour, or gone camping without my CPAP machine, or outrun that murderous pack of coyotes you encountered on the 10-hour haunted walking tour. You just get to have all the fun without me!
Maybe next time I’ll plan the trip from the start, so we can make sure it’s actually accessible for everyone. Trust me, I’m great at determining how much energy is needed for any given activity. I promise, if you let me plan the next trip, we absolutely won’t run out of food in the woods and have to eat Tricia this time!
Hilarious!!!!