The seven animated dwarfs from the 1937 Disney classic “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” have come out against the upcoming live-action remake and are expressing remorse over their role in shaping negative cultural attitudes toward animated little people.
“At the time, there were no opportunities for animated little people,” said Doc, who does not have a PhD. “When I saw the audition notice, I jumped at the chance. I think they just picked the ones with names that are also personality traits. Except me. But I’m not even a doctor!”
Many of the dwarfs have spent their whole lives trying to get away from their characters’ single personality trait.
“I undergo the burden of knowledge that I have deleteriously manifested misconceptions in the cultural landscape of our times,” opined Dopey, having curated his vocabulary over many years to prove his intelligence.
“Sometimes I just sit in the cottage and stare blankly ahead,” said Happy with deadened eyes, drinking a cup of mead.
“I have never organically sneezed in my life,” admitted Sneezy bluntly. “I had to learn to fake it for the movie. I’ve forgotten how at this point.”
All seven original hand-drawn dwarfs hope the 2025 live action “Snow White” will not perpetuate stereotypes about CGI-animated little people.