Holiday

Straight Wheelchair User Confuses Pride Party for Disability Pride Party

TERTIARY PARK, Colo. — Local heterosexual and wheelchair user Jason Hubert is taking advantage of a beautiful summer weekend to celebrate Pride Month.

“This is my first time celebrating Pride,” Hubert declared. “I would’ve joined in sooner, but growing up no one told me it even existed, much less instilled a sense of something besides pity, despair and shame about what is a beloved and crucial part of who I am.”

He went on, “My parents still hold out hope for a cure; the last time we talked we had a big argument … that was months ago. I just wish they’d accept me for who I am — Hey, someone’s giving out free dad hugs!”

After a profound embrace from a stranger, Hubert made his way through the park, pointing out how genuinely accepting and inclusive the celebration was. He highlighted a ramped stage, ASL interpreters for performers and even free stim tools and sensory kits for neurodivergent folk.

“This is what I’ve been missing, and why Disability Pride is so important: I can literally go anywhere, hang out with anyone and even use the restroom with little to no issue. Best of all, no one’s tried to push my chair without permission, though I have been hit on quite a bit,” he said with a wink.

“Not that I’m complaining — there’s a lot of diverse disabled folks here, and literally everyone is SUPER hot!! I might try chatting up that short-haired redhead with the sick cane who just arrived in a U-Haul; maybe she just moved here?”

After a few minutes talking about the best places to get coffee, discussing his preferred board game store in town and dropping some hints about his performance as an amateur wheelchair rugby player — as well as his phone number — Hubert made his way to the vendor booths.

“I still have so much to learn,” he stated, referring to the multitude of rainbow colors and symbols displayed by attendees and at various tables throughout the park. “I didn’t even know rainbow colors represented Disability Pride!”

While looking at a local vendor display, Hubert asked, “Which flags stand for which disabilities? I’d hate to alienate or confuse my new friends by using the wrong flag to represent my identity. How awkward that would be, haha!”

As the event carried on into the evening, he wasn’t ready to go home. “I’d love to stick around, but a few really cool folks invited me to a late-night drag show. I LOVE drag racing!! I didn’t even realize I might run into other NHRA fans here,” he said.

“I wonder if any of them are into Top Fuel drag?”

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