“Score!” That’s what tech office manager Mac Jennings shouted when he found out that Jerry Parsons, the white guy from R&D, is neurodivergent enough to be a diversity statistic.
“This is huge for us,” Jennings said. “Our funding relies on a few big government grants, all of which require us to meet certain diversity metrics in our hiring patterns and in our clientele. Now that I’ve learned Jerry is not just ‘haha’ neurodivergent in the way we joke about him in meetings but actually full-blown neurodivergent, it counts as hiring a guy with a disability.”
Jennings was well aware that there were even more perks to capitalize on if his growing firm could market itself as having minorities as a majority of his workforce. So he went to every other white dude in the office to poke his head into their workspace and ask, “Are you neurodivergent? Are you neurodivergent?” He also hastily passed the few Black employees and women along the way, saying, “You’re good, you’re good, you’re good …”
Parsons was not nearly as enthused. “You know, I’m kind of just here to pay the bills. The whole culture of valuing diversity, and then getting away with inappropriate jokes about diversity because you’re doing the work or whatever, and then saying things like ‘full-blown neurodivergent’ — it’s all a bit much.”
Parsons continued: “Mac is kind of an ass. For now, he’s pleasant enough to work for. But things can get grating, no doubt.” He grinned. “But I have an exit, if I want it. I have a feeling there will be a day when I very much enjoy settling in arbitration for disability discrimination.” His grin grew wider. “Sometimes it pays to be diverse.”