After voice actor Tom Kenny outed beloved aquatic fast-food worker SpongeBob SquarePants as autistic, many fans have been calling for a diagnosis of the show’s entire cast. People want to see if the answers line up with their own thoroughly detailed bingo cards of educated guesses. We sat down with SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenburg, who has been struggling with disability issues of his own — namely, his 2017 ALS diagnosis followed by his death a year later, which he admits has caused him significant health problems. But he hasn’t let that stop him.
On the contrary, without his work on SpongeBob, meme culture would have crumbled into insignificance; the sheer volume of memeage the show has consistently inspired is a cornerstone of the medium. Considering the number of characters fans have legitimate questions about, Hillenburg opted for a speed-round style of interview.
SpongeBob: “Autistic, as if that’s a revelation to anyone.”
Plankton: “Severe egomania, possibly an Oedipus complex.”
Mrs. Puff: “Bipolar.”
Sandy Cheeks: “Intense hypomania.”
Squidward: “Depression. Come on; did you really need to ask?”
Karen: “What, Plankton’s conscious computerized servant wife? Actually, no. She’s the only neurotypical character in the show.”
Mr. Krabs: “Capitalist.”
Finally, we came to the big question: Patrick Star. Does he have a learning disability?
“Well,” Hillenburg said, sighing. “Starfish don’t have brains, and technically I don’t think you can have a learning disability without a brain. He’s not neurodivergent, he’s straight-up neurodeficient.”
Debate still rages on about whether this is a staggering act of disabled representation or a parade of hurtful and regressive stereotypes, but Hillenburg was quick to put us at ease. “Every character has worth and value,” he told us, “not in spite of their diagnoses, but because of them. Patrick is a loyal friend and always will be. You can be brainless and still make a massive contribution to society. You could be a movie producer or CEO of a social media company — you can even be president of the United States. There’s no limit to what you can do.”
“Even Mr. Krabs?” we asked.
“Nah, fuck that guy. There’s a reason The Krusty Krab tried to unionise.”