OTTAWA, Ontario — With RFK Jr.’s lawyers busy suing the FDA to revoke its approval of the polio vaccine, Canadians are organizing vaccination sites at all border points to ensure Americans can get the vaccine that has been safely given to literally billions and billions of people. That’s billions with a B and literally in its literal usage.
As the US strives to join Afghanistan in its anti-polio vaccine stance, Canadians are willing to help give Americans access to the vaccine that is given to every baby born in all 192 other countries. It is unclear why the US wants to be in a club with Afghanistan, but many speculate it’s because the additional number of people who will need expensive and potentially lifelong medical care will boost the struggling healthcare industry.
A representative of the Canadian government said the vaccination effort will be relatively easy to organize, as they are already providing reproductive care to Americans near border points, so the infrastructure to provide basic healthcare that Americans used to be able to get in their own country is already in place.
But unlike reproductive care, the polio vaccine won’t be free. “Oh no, we’re counting on desperate parents to pay big bucks to prevent their kids from catching the virus. We figure it will only take a few viral social media stories of American children dying or becoming paralyzed from a totally preventable disease before we are flooded with demand and can jack up the price. How else could we offset those tariffs?”