Disabled Woman Repeatedly Mistaken for Drunk Decides to Start Drinking

When Olivia Manning first became disabled, she hadn’t realized it was socially unacceptable to leave her house and go about her business without a perfect gait. Reflecting, she gulped her G&T and said, “So what if I dragged my foot a little and sometimes lost my balance? I had stuff to do. I thought strangers would be inspired by me, not call me a drunk.”

Boy, was she wrong. One day she was crossing the road for her morning caffeine fix when her toe caught the curb and she face-planted right in front of her favorite coffee shop. As Manning struggled to get up, a woman called her a “lazy drunk” while the woman’s husband shielded their precious children’s eyes. Such incidents were a regular occurrence.

Manning had inadvertently become the local drunk without drinking anything stronger than iced tea. “Before all of this I was such a straightlaced nerd that I’d never even played beer pong. Now I’m making up for lost time.” (At least we think that’s what she said; it’s difficult to tell with all the slurring.)

The Righteous Man pushed her to her first drink. She was staggering back to her car with her groceries when he started his rant, saying things like “don’t do it” and “drunk driving kills.” He gave her an entire sermon. It’s true Manning couldn’t walk in a straight line, but she could drive in one. “When he tried to convince me to go to AA I thought, Fuck it. I went back in the store and bought a giant bottle of gin. Then I sold my car for booze money. Now people can judge me correctly — I’m just helping them get their slurs straight.”

When asked if she has any regrets, Manning said, “Only that I don’t have enough spoons to make myself espresso martinis. I could really use some caffeine too.”