‘I Don’t See the Wheelchair, I Just See You,’ Says Lying Coworker Who Does See Wheelchair

During a candid lunchtime conversation, Car Rental Today assistant manager Erica Smalls was overheard telling coworker Billy Malling that she “doesn’t even see the wheelchair,” and that she “just sees him.” The investigative team at The Squeaky Wheel believes this statement to be inaccurate and deceitful, and has evidence that Smalls does indeed see Malling’s wheelchair.

While Smalls does wear prescription glasses, we have no reason to believe her vision is poor, especially given her history of drag racing rental Toyotas in the back parking lot.

When their conversation ended, Smalls moved around Malling in a manner that clearly demonstrated a spatial awareness of the 200-pound mobility machine that surrounded him. Furthermore, she has not once been seen bumping into what would be a rather large obstacle if invisible.

After a thorough examination of the chair under a series of photon laser tests, our investigative team has confirmed the chair itself consists entirely of matter and reflects visible light in a way that would make it perceivable to the human eye even under nearly Game-of-Thrones-esque poor lighting conditions.

When confronted with this evidence, Smalls refused to acknowledge the presence of the wheelchair, replying, “Oh, Billy uses a wheelchair? I didn’t notice.”

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