Local purveyor of wisdom Terry has pointed out to his long-suffering friend Jo, “You could always be more impoverished, more disabled and more bombed — so maybe you should reconsider the whole depression thing.” It’s the kind of statement that makes Jo feel like a whining ingrate, not to mention even more depressed.
The Squeaky Wheel confronted Terry, who fully participates in society with ease, for comment on how that could be invalidating. “It is a well-meaning statement intended to put things in perspective,” he said. “For instance, when I have a bad day, I remember that I’ve had it worse — I briefly had a cold sore in September 1996. Now, when I see suffering people, I take it upon myself to cheer them up by telling them they have no right to be unhappy.”
The next day, The Squeaky Wheel witnessed another infuriating interaction between Jo and her healthy, financially comfortable friend. When she said she had a new diagnosis, Terry responded, “At least we live in a country where we have treatment for it.”
When Jo said she couldn’t afford the treatment, he said, “At least you have a job.”
When she said her job doesn’t provide health insurance or sufficient pay to afford basic healthcare, and that this illustrates how capitalism thrives on ableist exploitation of disabled workers, extracting their labor while doing nothing to protect their well-being, Terry paused for a moment, seemingly stumped. He triumphantly came back with: “At least you have the education to describe what’s wrong with you.”
This was the final nail in the coffin for Jo’s resistance, as she accidentally internalized his ableism and resolved to start a gratitude journal to “really reframe things.” She only felt better after a debrief with a disabled friend who validated her feelings and called Terry on his bullshit.
Meanwhile, Terry had a bad day at the office yesterday and consoled himself by thinking, “At least I’m better off than Jo. She’s so negative.”