Librarian and child of divorce Abigail Seltzer discovered to her dismay this week that the shitty book her father wanted to read was, sadly, finally published in large print format.
“My dad loves reading, but he’s always asking me for these conspiracy theory books that just reinforce a lot of fake news,” Seltzer reported. “I was pretty glad that the latest one he saw advertised on Truth Social was only available in standard print at first. His cataracts make that pretty much impossible to enjoy, and he won’t switch to audiobooks because they have hidden messages from ‘the deep state, or Olive Garden.’ But I guess the publisher wanted to be more inclusive with their formats, and for once, I’m devastated by that.”
Mr. Seltzer was reportedly so delighted by his new reading material, he spent 40 minutes of his weekly catch-up phone call with his daughter recounting the book’s theories on the dangers of 5G networks and remarking on how much easier they were to read about in the larger, bolder font.
“I had to remind him that he was literally using 5G to call me and tell me about it. This book clearly sucks. But accessibility win, I guess?”