Woman Told She Would Spend the Rest of Her Life in a Wheelchair Actually Spends a Lot of Time on the Couch

New York — A local woman with cerebral palsy is beating the odds and showing the world that with a positive attitude, disabled people can defy even their doctors’ gravest predictions.

Elizabeth Smith, 19, was diagnosed with quadriplegic cerebral palsy in infancy. Doctors told her worried parents, Jim and Sally, that their daughter would spend “the rest of her life in a wheelchair.” The shocked couple vowed to “take Elizabeth home and love her” despite their shared devastation at the thought of their firstborn child sitting in one place for a lifetime.

Today, as a thriving young adult, Smith is proving those doctors wrong — by leaving her wheelchair and sitting on the couch. Regularly.

Citing her relentless drive and a thirst for adventure, Smith reports that she “sits on a couch at least once a day” and “often eats Cheetos at the same time.” While Smith loves her overpriced power wheelchair cushion, she says a natural wanderlust has compelled her to plop her fine disabled ass into novel locations since childhood. “I’ve always been the daring type,” Smith states, “and anyone who knows me knows I have the travel bug. So going from my chair to my couch is a given.”

Sally and Jim Smith agree, each wiping away tears of pride. “Sitting in that chair forever just wasn’t an option we could accept,” Sally declares. “It’s unimaginative at best. And besides, Elizabeth is an overcomer. We knew she’d have other plans!”

Chris McGuire, who attends college with Smith, is both stunned and confused to learn that she can attempt an exotic excursion like transferring to a couch. A visibly bewildered McGuire muses, “I always thought the wheelchair was fused to her butt. I mean, I still think that’s the case for many of the differently abled, because they’re, like, wheelchair-bound, but apparently not Elizabeth. For people like her, venturing to a couch is practically a study abroad trip. It’s inspiring, really, and pushes me to let go of my excuses.”

Incredibly, Smith’s couch-dwelling is only the beginning of her spirited departures from her wheelchair. She reveals that she also gets out of her wheelchair to use the toilet about four times a day, and sometimes many more if she drinks coffee. “Our girl’s a marvel!” exclaims Smith’s doting grandmother, Joanie Kittenbasket. “From the day she was born, she couldn’t be stopped.”

1 comment

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: