PALMWOOD, Calif. — City planners in Palmwood, California have lately come under fire for the lack of accessible public bathrooms in town, which has left disabled residents nowhere to make out.
Wheelchair user Brianna Alvarez explains, “When you gotta neck, you gotta neck. Just because we’re disabled, doesn’t mean we can’t have a love life. Only thing is, the regular bathrooms can’t be locked completely and don’t have big enough stalls, so anyone can just burst right in and catch us… And I guess it’s also bad that we can’t go to the bathroom in the regular sized stalls.”
Jonas Ashland, who is autistic, adds, “Even though I don’t have mobility issues, like many on the spectrum I’m unemployed and living with my parents. The same is true of the women I attract, so it’s not like we have privacy at home or can spring for a motel.”
While there is an accessible bathroom at the Palmwood Shopping Center on the outskirts of town, it’s only for customers, forcing disabled people to buy stuff they don’t need.
“Can’t we get to third base without having to spend nine dollars on a small bottle of organic shampoo?” asks Alvarez.
Also, these bathrooms are most frequently occupied by local high schoolers, most of whom are nondisabled.
“They need to leave us our own space, considering the town’s other makeout spots — such as the underpass and secluded areas of the park — are also not fully accessible,” Ashland adds.
Hiram Mosely, a representative for the Palmwood City Planning Department, has issued a rebuttal: “I understand your concerns. In fact, I have a fifteen-year-old daughter with cerebral palsy. I, too, would like her to be able to use the bathroom like everyone else. I just don’t want her making out with anyone.”