Proud Mom Posts Physical Therapy Results on Fridge

Monica Samson, bubbling with excitement, couldn’t wait to unveil her kid’s amazing achievements at her house party. Pointing to the pain scale on her fridge, she squealed, “Hold onto your hats, everyone! I’m ecstatic to announce that Tammy Lynn has made a groundbreaking improvement from ‘worst pain possible,’ a 10, to just ‘very severe pain,’ an 8!”

Earlier in the night, one tiger mom proclaimed, “My Johnny boy got an A in mathematics!” Another countered, “That’s alright, I suppose, but my Anna won first place at the cross-country championships this year,” diverting focus to her child’s accomplishment. 

But as Samson pointed to her daughter’s physical therapy results, which she strongly believed were an extension of her own awesomeness, the other parents exchanged confused glances, their faces filled with pity. They all chimed in with sentiments like, “That’s truly … something,” struggling to comprehend the significance of an improvement of a mere two points on a pain scale. 

Unperturbed, Samson continued, pointing to more physical therapy results plastered on her fridge. “And just last week, her physical therapist marveled at her improved range of motion — a whopping five degrees, imagine that!”

As Samson went to help Tammy Lynn use the bathroom, the other parents huddled and whispered among themselves. “Poor Monica! The only thing her handicapped daughter is capable of excelling in is physical therapy! It’s so sad, and she can only boast about it on her fridge next to her grocery list — no medals or actual certificates!”

“Oh wait a minute,” said tiger mom as her eyes widened. “What are all these accolades on the wall NEXT to the fridge? Tammy Lynn is on the honor roll AND volunteers to teach kids math and science, AND she’s won several gold medals at the Paralympics?? WTF, she’s differently abled! How the heck is that even f**king possible? Are those photoshopped?”

Samson returned to the group of parents, looking at them with pity and amusement. “Oh, those? They’re just the tip of the iceberg for Tammy Lynn. Easy-peasy for her, nothing to brag about. But now, as I was saying, see how this range-of-motion graph line goes up?”

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