Welcome to the Sixth Family Therapy Outfit. We work with individuals, couples and families to help navigate life’s conflicts and painful experiences, offering first-class therapy through our team of exclusive, devoted men. Allow us to provide a brief background on our philosophy, as we believe you may be suffering from some honest misconceptions about therapy.
There remains a certain air of disrepute around turning to therapy for your problems, one which we personally find antiquated and small-minded. Perhaps some bad things have been done in the name of therapy — we will not deny that — but this need not prejudice you against the good things therapy can offer.
For instance, this boss of yours, he’s giving you some trouble, is he? Perhaps we can work together on this, come to a common understanding, if you will. If you take care of your part, we will take care of ours, and the way your boss affects you will completely change. Do you comprehend?
Your spouse, you say he is harming you? In more ways than one? You need not say more. Our therapists are experts on the most intense forms of marital abuse, including physical intimidation, substance use, financial extortion and gambling.
Of course, everything we do at Sixth Family must be held in strict confidence, otherwise you will only be making more issues for yourself. We would not like to see you make more issues for yourself.
Additionally, we have reached a special arrangement with major insurance providers in our region who, through their beneficence and high esteem for Sixth Family, have granted us a most charitable deal for our clients. We only ask that you keep up with modest, timely copays, with some interest, terms and conditions if we do not find your payments to be all that timely.
Therapy is only successful when a therapist and client work together. Our mantra is: You keep us satisfied, and we’ll keep you satisfied. We do not like to be dissatisfied.
So, how do we proceed? Why don’t you tell us: Do we have a problem? It seems like we might have a problem. Let’s have a talk.