Autism Speaks Expands Operations and Rebrands as ‘Disability Abilitizes’

Abled child actors stood up from wheelchairs and tossed white canes aside in Autism Speaks’ video trailer released this morning to celebrate a new chapter in the organization’s history.

“We know how much Sia and parents of autistic children love us, and we just want to build on that love,” said Carrie Williams, abled Autism Speaks spokesperson. “That’s why we’re expanding our mission to help abilitize disabled children of many flavors.”

To match the change in mission, Autism Speaks is also rebranding to “Disability Abilitizes,” showing their support for bastardizing disabilities of all kinds. 

“What we realized is that parents of all types of disabled children need hope that their children can become less disabled. So we’re extending our entire toolkit here. I’m talking walking lessons, sight lessons, hearing lessons, chill out lessons. You name it, we can help abilitize,” added Williams.

While some notable groups like The Charitable Foundation for Disabilities and Other Terrible Afflictions have applauded the move, many disabled adults have expressed concern over the news, citing “nothing about us without us.”

“Now it’s time to donate to disabled-led organizations, teach kids that being disabled isn’t a bad thing and remind your friends and family that adults with disabilities exist too,” said Jessica Howard, a disability rights advocate. 

Following the bold change in name, the newly branded Disability Abilitizes group announced another partnership with Sia, promising, “We won’t make the same mistake twice. This time we’ll find Maddie Ziegler a diagnosis first.”