A new psych med has been developed to treat previous psych meds’ side effects because, after 50 years of this exact pattern, psychiatrists are convinced the next medication is going to do the trick.
Alakazamepam is a non-dependent benzodiazepine developed for health-related anxiety — specifically, the anxiety of people who have been on antipyschotics for over ten years, and experience panic attacks over how that might be affecting them.
“The latest generation of psychiatric pharmacology, like every generation before it, was heralded as a breakthrough. Drawbacks then became clear months to years into use,” said Dr. John Frink of the Torrey Foundation, a psychiatric research organization independently funded by Eli Lilly. “Our scientists have worked part of the day and pretty much none of the night to identify biomechanisms behind this, which has brought this latest medication to the market.”
Early consumer feedback is positive, with users reporting immediate panic relief, enhanced focus, and body relaxation. That said, consumers also claim that within an hour, they stop feeling positive effects of Alakazamepam and start experiencing dizziness, involuntary muscle movement, short-term memory problems, and a return of panic — often a more intense panic than they experienced before taking the drug.
Torrey Foundation representatives say the FDA trials they oversaw determined safe use of 0.5 mg tablets up to 11 times per day, with toxicity not taking effect until someone has consumed over 100 mg of Alakazamepam within a 24-hour period.
“In theory, you could take this about once per hour for every waking hour of your life without side effects,” Dr. Frink ensured The Squeaky Wheel. “Provided you are always on the drug, it should be fine to take Alakazamepam.”
The Torrey Foundation says its next project involves the completely unrelated treatment of insomnia and night terrors.