Disabled Adults Find Gainful Employment and Live Independently With New RICH PARENTS™ Program

With the unemployment and underemployment rates for disabled people are far higher than that of the general population, many disabled people are unable to support themselves financially or live independently. Fortunately, a new program called “Resourced & Invested Capital Hoarders Promoting A Really Enormous Nepotistic Theft Society,” also known as RICH PARENTS™, has been established to help them in this aspect.

RICH PARENTS™ provide disabled people with gainful employment through methods such as “owning the company,” “doing the hiring,” and even “contributing direct financial assistance” to the extent that it completely eliminates the need for employment. They also assist disabled people in obtaining higher education by “being legacy.” They have recently enacted housing programs enabling disabled people to live away from their parents’ home, such as “paying their rent” and “taking out a co-op in the person’s name.”

The criteria for joining this program is simple: just have parents who make good money, or at least have some other form of major influence. Anyone can sign up regardless of race, gender, creed, class…well, maybe not class. RICH PARENTS™ have proven effective even for those who are not disabled and could easily find gainful employment on their own.

For those who do not qualify for the RICH PARENTS™ program, there exists an alternative program called “Systematic Oppression Minus Empathy Designed Against You,” also known as SOMEDAY™, where disabled people struggling to find work are repeatedly assured they will find it “someday.” It eliminates the need for support altogether by putting the onus to find work on disabled individuals so nobody else has to take responsibility for it. While far less effective, its membership greatly outnumbers that of RICH PARENTS™.