Disabled Trick-or-Treater Really Bringing Down Group’s Candy Collecting Efficiency

ASHFORD, Conn. — The latest economic analysis reveals that the marginal labor cost of Brandon Graham, 9, who uses a manual wheelchair, greatly reduced the hourly output rate of a group of trick-or-treaters in Ashford.

At 7:57 p.m. on October 31, the group of fourth-grade friends was walking down Birchwood Drive when Graham suddenly got stuck on a crack in the sidewalk. The entire group ceased movement for approximately 30 seconds until Walter Sharp, 9, decided to help push him forward. 

“Last year, our bags were like up to here by now,” said Meredith Parker, 9, indicating a spot a couple inches below the top of her trick-or-treating bag. “We’re only half full this year. He’s slowing us down.”

Top analysts argue that the neighborhood clearly lacked strategic infrastructure for harvesting resources.

“What we’re dealing with here is a classic case of poor technical efficiency combined with non-optimal terrain,” said economist Brianna Myers, 44, pointing to various PPF graphs and marginal cost curves.

“We should’ve gone to my neighborhood,” lamented Sharp, pushing Graham over the crack. “No hills, short sidewalks. Or he should’ve stayed home.”

As of 8:15, economists were busy reworking the equations to factor in the couple of times Graham received an extra candy bar for being disabled.

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