The internet is a wonderful place to learn how to cure depression without research-backed methods or professional support. Besides, only mentally healthy people have the strength to navigate the bureaucracy of the healthcare system. So whether you think being hangry through a ten-day juice cleanse is more effective than medication or you just can’t muster the strength to make a phone call to your therapist, here are eight totally fun and definitely not agonising ways to heal your depression.
- Eat seven to ten heads of broccoli a day. You’ll feel better at the end of the day knowing you don’t need to eat any more broccoli.
- Do snow yoga. Let your outsides become just as numb as your insides.
- Lift your mood by lifting some weights. When you throw out your back, you’ll get to stay in bed for a week without your friends telling you to “snap out of it.”
- Gaze at the eclipse. Stargazing can help you feel a part of something bigger than yourself. What better way to get that feeling than looking at the biggest, brightest, most blinding star?
- Move your treadmill into your bedroom to hang dirty clothes on until you gather the strength to do laundry. Allow this to remind you of your failures every time you walk into your bedroom.
- Throw axes. Not at an axe-throwing place. Just like, around. Use your time in prison to take a much needed holiday from work and access free mental health services.
- Join a pack of coyotes. On second thought, no — that’s your depression holding you back. Join a pack of wolves. Finding community is an important part of healing negative thoughts and feelings. When you’re fighting for your life in the middle of the woods, you won’t have time to dwell on that awkward thing you said to your cousin three weeks ago.
- Start a blog to own your story. Invest in tools to monetize your blog. Who cares if you rack up credit card debt doing it? Once your investments start paying off, you can roll around in piles of money and your depression will be cured. Then when an old friend from high school reaches out to you for the first time in ten years because they’re worried about your mental health, you can rekindle a beautiful multi-level marketing scheme.