Feel Old Yet? That ‘Deaf Child in Area’ Is Now a Deaf Adult — and He’s Hot!!!

Few things spread faster than gossip in a midwestern suburb. That’s how, within 48 hours of Adam Brown’s weekend visit home from college, we got the tip for this story. 

Brown, known to many in the neighborhood as the local deaf kid with the clunky hearing aids and bad haircut, was absolutely transformed. He’d grown his hair out just enough to showcase its beautiful waves, just enough for a tasteful man bun. Goodbye chubby cheeks, hello chiseled jawline. The hint of a five o’clock shadow really proved this was no child. Had his eyes always been that soulful, warm, chocolatey color? Sources struggled to remember. 

“This is not the awkward little kid I remember,” remarked Susan Majors, 41, Brown’s next-door neighbor. 

“I mean, wow,” commented high schooler Meghann Myers, who is new to Brown’s street. “I remember first moving here and seeing the ‘Deaf Child in Area’ sign. I was not expecting such a grown dreamboat.”

Myers and several other girls on the street — plus a few middle-aged moms — have started a neighborhood sign language club. 

We reached out to the District Department of Transportation to see if they had thoughts on the traffic sign amidst this new reality, but they declined to comment. Brown has clearly aged well, but the sign has not. Aside from some peeling yellow paint along the edges, it’s also just plain inaccurate.

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