The First District Appellate Court of Illinois has affirmed a decision in favor of local sales representative Charles Burbank against his employer, Skarsgard Cheese. Burbank lives with Crohn’s disease, which often impairs his ability to control or moderate his farts. His lawsuit alleged that he was isolated from his workspace and excluded from important work-related events because of his farting. He claims his work peers subjected him to constant taunting and ridicule, amounting to a hostile work environment under anti-harassment law.
“It’s a supreme irony that a cheese distributor would be so cruel about farts,” Burbank said. “I’ve kept a record of all of the insults, nicknames and zingers. Beans Burbank, Gasmaster Flash, Tooter Libby, Count Flatula, Cooking the Swamp Chili, Wearing the Devil’s Perfume, Stink-Bombing the Church, Violating the Geneva Convention. I could go on.” Burbank farted.
“I just want to be part of the Skarsgard Cheese family, and all they know how to do is single me out for farts.”
The court ordered Skarsgard to pay damages for lost opportunities and to provide Burbank with a fully integrated workspace, with new protocol in place to protect him against discriminatory treatment of any kind.
“It’s a landmark decision: You may pass gas, but you may not pass judgment,” Burbank proclaimed. Then he farted again. “It’s a new day. If you offensively smelt it when I dealt it, then you did the crime by saying the rhyme.”