Eager to put an inclusive twist on its smash hit throwback item, McDonald’s has begun offering a limited-edition Disabled Adult Happy Meal™ at restaurants nationwide. The meal, which comes with a choice of 10-piece McNuggets or a burger plus fries and a drink features an array of themed “toys” including a McCatheter, a Ronald McDonald-themed Bipap mask, and — at the insistence of consulting occupational therapist Ellie Sanders — a long-handled shoehorn for which no one can identify a useful purpose, though Sanders insists it can also serve as a nugget dipper.
To mark the occasion, the beloved burger chain has also launched a range of limited-edition menu items destined to rival the McRib, among them the “Shamrock Shaky Shake” and the “Big Mac and Me.”
Bob Peterson, a corporate spokesperson for McDonald’s, said the fast-food giant is committed to “supporting the disabled.” An emotional Peterson said, “I’ve hugged these folks at the Ronald McDonald House. My daughter smiled at them for service hours … these courageous people warm so many hearts. Meeting their very special needs with our product line is such a rewarding gift.”
Nora Gray, 28, who has cerebral palsy, applauded the chain’s efforts, noting that Disabled Adult Happy Meals deliver that “blast from the past joy” while also picking up the slack for her shitty insurance company.
“Medicaid only approved me for two catheters per day this month,” mused Gray. “So a couple times a week I swing by Mickey D’s hoping for a McCatheter in my Happy Meal box. It’s a real letdown if I get the shoehorn.”
Gray added that finding a McCatheter in a meal allows disabled folks to indulge in a Coke, making it the most coveted toy in the product line.
With Philips Respironics still failing to replace millions of last year’s recalled Bipaps, Peterson boasted that the Ronald McDonald-themed Bipap masks come at a critical moment.
“The timing couldn’t be better,” he remarked. “Much like our ice cream machines, we’re not sure if these masks actually work, but it’s the thought that counts, right?”
Advocates have called the meals revolutionary for their nod to the fact that disabled adults exist, noting that the vast majority of disability-inclusive products are geared toward children.
“Differently abled adults … they’re way less cute,” Peterson conceded, “and until recently, I wasn’t even sure they were real. But the way their smiles light up a room? Well, I’m lovin’ it.”