Sources confirmed that your uncle Chester wrote you yet another birthday post on Facebook that failed to mention he pressured your mother to get an abortion because of your spina bifida.
“Chester usually tries to paper over the awful things he’s done,” said his ex-wife Linda. “It’s awkward to celebrate someone’s birthdays when you were against the first one.”
“All your hard work to overcome your challenges just goes to show people should stop blaming society for their problems,” said your uncle’s post, whose ideal society would ensure no one like you exists.
The post went on for six paragraphs, leading some to speculate your uncle must feel some subconscious guilt.
“No,” said Linda, “He’s incapable of feeling shame. It’s pure gaslighting.”
At your birthday dinner, Chester toasted your health: “Each and every day of your 23 years, you’ve inspired me, kiddo.” Attendees agreed it was unclear if he was joking. Then he spoke at length about what your mother has sacrificed, how much we ask of the American taxpayer, and which medical experiments are likely to one day “resolve our 23-year-old problem.”
Witnesses later reported seeing Linda slapping Chester on the front lawn and calling him a “dime store Nazi.”