Devastating: The Most Famous Person with Your Rare Disability Actually Sucks

After years of serving as the unelected spokesperson for her disability, a B-list celebrity has shaken the community by posting an irredeemably awful statement on Twitter. 

“She was the opening line of the speech I use to explain my diagnosis,” said former supporter Celia Ramos. “Now I’m going to have to downgrade to the supporting actor from a moderately known ’90s movie.”

Despite desperate pleas for her to apologize, the actor doubled down with a 15-tweet-long thread. Those sharing her diagnosis mourn the loss of their only mainstream representation.

“She was our Peter Dinklage,” said Rebecca Cruz. “But it was too good to be true.” 

Because of the lack of disability representation in Hollywood, said Cruz, actors she can relate to are hard to come by. The majority of disabled roles are played by nondisabled actors. Despite how often disabled characters succeed as Oscar bait, only a few winners in the awards show’s 93-year history were actually played by disabled actors.

The nonprofit organization dedicated to the star’s diagnosis is now scrambling to restore its image. 

“She’s hosted our annual fundraising gala for years,” said president Eric Baker. “Now we’ve got to scrub the website of her quotes, redesign the T-shirts … it’s a PR nightmare. Our funding is down the drain.”

“In the future, I hope that we continue to destigmatize disability so more disabled actors will come into the mainstream,” said Cruz. “Really, anybody but her.”

Teenager Kacy Singh is taking it a step further: the avid social media user is now searching for celebrities she believes display the diagnosis criteria. 

“Honestly, our condition isn’t even that rare,” said Singh. “There has to be someone else out there to represent us who isn’t also a raging bigot.”

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