Disabled Worker Didn’t ‘Contribute Enough to Twitter’s Downfall,’ Claims Elon Musk

New Twitter CEO Elon Musk justified his firing of Haraldur “Halli” Thorleifsson by arguing that the disabled employee did not meaningfully advance the downfall of the platform.

“He has done almost no work for the past four months and clearly isn’t dedicated to ruining the company,” Musk said, ignoring a graph of the falling price of Tesla’s stock.

“If someone isn’t willing to work for 12 hours a day to run a company into the ground, why should they have a job?”

Thorleifsson’s muscular dystrophy affects his ability to type and use a mouse for extended periods of time. This has limited how often he could share anti-vaccination conspiracy theories, far-right memes and insider information.

The company claimed that Thorleifsson didn’t even perform basic company-ruining tasks like laying off 75% of the staff or ignoring hate speech.

“Not one big advertiser left because of Thorleifsson,” Musk said. “He didn’t come up with the idea of paying for verification. He didn’t force employees to work in person during a global pandemic. I was perfectly right to fire him.”

Musk had to get back to work, as the Twitter API was currently too functional to completely tank the company.

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