HR Manager Spontaneously Combusts in Strenuous Attempt to Avoid Saying ‘Disabled’

During a routine job interview Tuesday, hiring manager Tiffany Nicole was engulfed in a sudden burst of flames.

On this seemingly normal afternoon, Nicole interviewed Rebecca Lamar, who is visibly disabled. As the questions proceeded, Nicole wanted to acknowledge the applicant’s disability but became flustered at her own choice of words.

She pondered to herself, wondering which phrase was the least offensive to use. “Is ‘differently-abled’ worse than ‘different abilities’?” she thought. “Is ‘special needs’ too patronizing? What about ‘handicapped’?”

As the buffet of word options scrolled through her head, she settled on “disabled,” assuming it was the most professional and appropriate, but she just couldn’t get the “D word” to come out of her mouth. When she closed her lips to pronounce the first syllable, she froze. Then, taking a deep breath, she tried again but began audibly glitching, like a lagging video game character. Her third attempt would be her last, as she mustered up so much forceful energy that she suddenly lit up in an explosive blast of fire before slowly sizzling out.

While Lamar did not get the job she was interviewed for, she is hopeful about a new job opening in the company’s HR department.

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