The leaves are falling, the moon is full and every spirit knows this is prime time for haunting. But for Gregg McGhoul, things couldn’t be going worse.
Everything seemed to be lining up perfectly. McGhoul’s horror-scope predicted a month full of opportunity, and sure enough, a week later a new family moved into the home he’d inhabited for 20 years (five alive, 15 after life).
McGhoul’s past was riddled with commitment issues: He had a habit of coming on too strong and scaring families out of the house before he even had a chance at a long-term haunt.
Determined this year would be different, McGhoul started out slowly — stomping on squeaky floorboards at night, rattling the windows, basic stuff.
The family seemed totally unfazed. So McGhoul ramped things up with a haunt classic: the whisper.
“Come playyy with meeee,” he whispered from the closet of the kid’s bedroom at night.
“Help me, help me,” he called out in his best dying-little-girl imitation whenever the parents were alone downstairs.
Weeks passed, and McGhoul was starting to seriously doubt the long haunt would ever pay off. Then, at the month’s Home Haunters Association (HHA) meeting, McGhoul was embarrassed to report his stats: zero sleepless nights, zero over-the-shoulder checks, and zero night lights or cameras installed. The family was not suspicious or frightened or even slightly concerned.
When the Spirit Council asked for details on his methods, they cackled. “Whispers and strange noises? Gregg, your house occupants are Deaf. They can’t hear you. You need to be using visual disruption, sending physical signs from our spiritual plane.”
McGhoul went even more transparent with embarrassment. He’d skipped the HHA’s “No Soul Spared” DEI training and it showed. Now, with Halloween just a few days away, it’s too high-tension of a time to start a long-term haunt. He’ll have to retreat until scary movie nights are over and the family is lured back into a false sense of safety.