CAMDEN, Minn. — The parents of six-year-old Henry Baker were shocked to hear vulgar language from his recently purchased Dynavox, a speech-generating device he uses to communicate.
“I was cooking in the kitchen when I heard a loud robotic ‘FUCK’ come from the living room,” said Henry’s father, Mr. Baker.
The parents have regulated their family’s television and YouTube consumption so as never to expose the Dynavox to inappropriate language.
“No other kids in school use such language,” insisted Mrs. Baker, “and we certainly never use it around the house. At least never near the Dynavox.”
The operating instructions for the Dynavox give no option for preventing the acquisition of unsavory words.
“It may be shocking to hear explicit language from your child’s device,” a prepared statement from Dynavox read. “However, this is an inevitable result of socialization. The alternative is to completely shield the Dynavox from the real world.”
Mr. and Mrs. Baker have tried giving the Dynavox a talking to, putting it in time out and even resetting the device — to no avail.
“I guess we have to come to terms with the fact that our little device is growing up,” said Mr. Baker sadly.
Baker’s parents last overheard the Dynavox talking about “humping girls,” so they’ve decided it’s time for “the talk.”