At Baytown Middle School, Mrs. Bunson's eighth-grade special education class may seem like your typical short bus full of Pokemon Go addicts and Taylor Swift stans, but no, they're built different. While their parents hoped that with the proper education these children would learn to become bright and successful students, this ragtag group of 13-year-old misfits has surpassed even those expectations.
“You might want to see me get an A on my economics quiz. But me? I want to restructure the entire education department's budget from the ground up,” said chatty tween Rachel Gold. “For too long our only goal has been to reach the bar that others have set for us. It's time to set our own bar, and my bar is one that serves cocktails for any dietary restriction and pays its staff a living wage PLUS vacation time PLUS a generous maternity leave policy.”
When asked what radicalized her seemingly harmless students, Mrs. Brunson had no shortage of theories. “These kids, they see things. They see their friend Trevor get denied a new wheelchair because his Medicaid expired. They see me flirting with the creepy gym teacher so he'll keep driving me to work until I can afford to get my car back from the shop. They see … like, the news. They know when shit's up.”
After several months of lackluster education, poor treatment of staff and a flickering classroom lightbulb that randomly shrieked the most startling scream you've ever heard, the students had had enough. This discontent led them to form what they are referring to as ISAWSHIT, or International Students Against Whatever Societal Hellscape Is This.
“We realized that if each of us individually complained about the situation, they would label us as difficult. But if we complained together? Just imagine an entire (small) bus full of disabled students refusing to leave school property,” Gold threatened with a grin.
It's unclear exactly what's next at Baytown Middle School, but if we had to guess, it's probably whatever those kids are going to ask for.