Squeaky Wheel writers have thoroughly road-tested all the best prosthetics currently on the market so you can make informed purchasing decisions. We cannot guarantee that your health insurance provider will cover the cost of these products. Ours mostly laughed at us.
The Partyboy
Who wants a beer? With the built-in bottle opener in the palm of this prosthetic arm, good times are always close at hand for the Partyboy.
The Meta ProsthOculus
Plug this high-tech prosthetic eye into your optic nerve with a quick surgery, and experience VR games delivered straight to your brain!
Captain Jimmy’s Ol’ Fashioned Pirate Leg
Shopping for limbs on a budget? A crudely sanded tree stump worked for the deadliest buccaneers on the seven seas, so it will get you around town just fine.
Geekbones
These cheekbone inserts store encyclopedic knowledge of one subject per cheek, and also make you look like a model!
The Finger Bang
Up your finger gun game! A little flag emerges from your fingertip, emblazoned with the word “BANG!”
Nickelodeon Moon Feet
In a play for nostalgia (that’s totally working on us!), Nickelodeon repurposed the technology from its ‘90s spring-loaded Moon Shoes, allowing amputees to bound several feet in a single stride.
Weather or Not Umbrella Head
A hyper-compact umbrella that retracts into the top of your skull, perfect for rainy days and, for those with skin conditions, avoiding direct sun.
The Brazilian Butt Lift
We know a prosthetic when we see one, and we look incredible!