Cleveland – Four people are in critical condition after an unknown assailant farted in an elevator at Tower City Mall. Police report that this appeared to be a targeted attack since the fart happened quickly after the elevator doors shut. The passengers were traveling from the fourth floor to the first floor – a trip that takes approximately 30 seconds.
Brenda Hanks – the lone survivor – described the horrifying scene: “I noticed the other passengers coughing, sweating, and retching. Someone shouted, “Who farted?” But, obviously, no one said anything. It was awful…”
Upon searching the scene, police said that it would be difficult to find the culprit since this silent but possibly deadly crime left no forensic evidence in the elevator.
Hanks credited the use of a KN95 mask in all public, indoor spaces with her safe escape. “There are so many good reasons to wear a mask in public, and this is just proof of that. I haven’t had to smell another person’s fart in 6 years,” she said.
Hanks said that she hoped this experience would lead to some public benefit: “Maybe we can all learn a lesson from this. If you don’t want to sniff other people’s farts, wear a mask.”
Police currently do not have any suspects and are asking for anyone with any information to call Crimestoppers immediately.