Every year, there’s a season between summer and winter, and each time, disabled people exist during that period. Fortunately, an infinite need for profit has kept corporations working hard to bring us new ways to spend all that money we don’t have. Here are five fall products specifically for people like us:
1. Jack-O-Lantern that is Neurodivergent: This jack-o-lantern has their eyes closed because they hate eye contact. Also, they’re running late!
2. Halloween Costume Prop Wheelchair: At just $80, this baby costs 4,500% less than a real wheelchair — and works pretty much as well as the one that Medicaid agreed to buy for you.
3. Pumpkin Spice Ensure: If you need a lot of calories and a little fall flavor, you’ll love this new seasonal sip.
4. Scarecrow for Ableists: Keep those pesky ableists away from your home by putting one of these scarecrows on your lawn. This scarecrow lets them know you have no interest in their cures or comments.
5. Cinnamon-Scented Medicaid Application: Every fall it’s renewal time, so why not enjoy some scratch-and-sniff stickers while you beg for mediocre healthcare?