Responding to concerns that her disability may be disabling, autistic salesperson Isla Jones reassured her boss that her special interest was purely profit-driven.
“A special interest is something that an autistic person is intensely fascinated by or focused on,” Jones explained to her boss. “And mine happens to be increasing value for our shareholders.”
“I was always a loner in grade school,” Jones said. “All the other kids wanted to play outside during recess, while I preferred to stay in the library, checking the stock market so I could increase my profit margins on my lemonade stand.”
“In fact,” she added, “when I was a baby, my very first words were ‘venture capital.’ Psychologists have said that I was neurologically wired to be a hustler with a 24/7 grindset.”
Her boss appeared skeptical of her claims, but then he remembered a tweet he read which stated that autistic people can’t lie. “Wow — you’re such an inspiration,” he said as Jones repressed a wince and forced an awkward smile.
Jones was later spotted explaining to a co-worker with ADHD that she was concerned about rising inflation and layoffs. She told him that, in the interest of job security, he should claim his hyperfixation was making spreadsheets.