Bending and Snapping No Longer Possible for this Fabulous Lawyer

Elle Woods, a Georgetown lawyer known for her legal prowess as well as being DC’s foremost fashion icon, has been forced to retire her signature move: the bend and snap. This motion, which she first taught to hair stylists in Los Angeles, is a body movement meant to draw in the attention of someone you are interested in. It is a deep bend down to a toe touch, then a quick draw back while snapping the fingers. As any DC socialite can tell you, it has a 98% success rate when used appropriately.

Unfortunately, after rearranging furniture recently, Elle developed tremendous pain. A subsequent MRI showed that years of exercise had caught up with the 40-something, and despite trying medications, steroid injections, PT, acupuncture, yoga, tai chi, talking to ghosts, crystal healing and essential-oil-infused vegetables, her doctors were seeing no improvement. So they recommended a spinal fusion, which was performed at Georgetown Hospital last month.

Woods, as upbeat as ever, came out of surgery with a smile on her face — which quickly turned to a frown when she was informed of her movement restrictions. For at least six months, Woods is under strict instructions to not bend, lift, or twist. And she will need to be very careful for the rest of her life not to disturb the pins and rods that are currently holding her spine together. This means her days of teaching people exactly how to bend and snap are over. 

Locals expressed dismay at being unable to learn from “the expert,” as one fan, Lisa Moss, put it. Woods, however, is facing this obstacle with her usual optimism and determination. She has connected with DC’s disability community to learn from other people with similar spine injuries. She says, “It doesn’t matter if I can’t bend, because I can still snap. And I can still whip your ass in court.”

1 comment

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: