Rent-A-Disabled-Person for All Your Inclusive Holiday Needs!

Choose from Wheelchair Janice, Blind Richard, Amputee Sam, and many more!

This holiday season, Rent-A-Disabled-Person is offering a two-for-one special for all your inclusive holiday needs. Choose any combination of two disabilities for the price of one. For instance, you can rent a blind person and a deaf person all for the low price of $99.99!

Rent-A-Disabled-Person is perfect for companies who’ve violated ADA regulations and need a quick PR fix, or organizations who don’t want to incorporate diversity into their all-white, male, able-bodied board of directors but still want to pretend they have DEI values every now and again.

“Companies hire a couple of disabled people for their holiday parties, take photos for their blogs, website, and boom! They look inclusive and have saved millions of dollars in PR thanks to us,” said Rent-A-Disabled-Person CEO Mark Stiller, who is not disabled but saw the profit potential in taking advantage of disabled people. “We value diversity, which means we cater to all sorts of events like family dinners, birthday parties, weddings — and you can even rent disabled ‘friends’ just for your Instagram feed!”

Rent-A-Disabled-Person offers a wide array of disabilities with varying degrees of severity. Not only can you choose a paralyzed person but you can choose from monoplegia, hemiplegia, paraplegia or quadriplegia. Or you can choose from a blindness spectrum such as a completely blind person or someone with only central vision. The greater the severity, the pricier the rentals.

“Amputee Sam was wonderful at our last holiday party,” said one customer’s spokesperson. “He was so authentically disabled! We made sure photos of him and our CEO were distributed to the press. We’ll definitely take advantage of the holiday discount to make us look doubly inclusive this year. Thanks, Rent-A Disabled-Person!”

As another holiday special this year, Rent-A-Disabled-Person is offering disabled Santa rentals (choose your disability!) for your family photo holiday cards, or you can pose with any 12 disabilities for your 2022 monthly calendar — only $89.99! Send them to your friends to remind them just how inclusive you are all year round.

All rentals are real disabled people. Props like wheelchairs, white canes, respiratory tubes and prosthetic limbs come included, so if you’re looking for visible diversity at your next holiday party, you know who to call.

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