With the rise of long COVID, many are asking: What is brain fog? Some are asking the question again, as they weren't really concentrating the first time. Much has been said about the drawbacks of brain fog, such as memory loss, difficulty concentrating and genuinely enjoying reruns of “The Bachelor.” But little time is spent talking about the positives.
As a researcher for Ill Logistics™, an organisation dedicated to normalising mass disabling events so we can all just get on with it, I conducted a months-long study interviewing sufferers about the upsides of COVID-induced brain damage. Here's what they had to say:
“I can't think straight, I struggle remembering things, can't read or watch anything that's intellectually challenging … After six months of it, I suddenly realised — this is bliss.”
— Carson Daniels, (ex) tech consultant
“I used to worry constantly about paying my bills, but now I just forget I have to pay them. It's given life a really chill vibe that's only occasionally interrupted by severe panic.”
— Sarah Alvarez, (ex) fitness coach
“I saw something on the news about some new immigration policy, but I phased out halfway through, thank God. Usually I have to force myself not to think about it, but now I don't even have to try.”
— Mark Williams, (ex) plasterer
“See, before I got sick I would have worried about misrepresenting myself in an interview like this. Not now. Actually, I don't worry about anything anymore.”
— Jim Fitzpatrick, current investment banker
“My boyfriend has dragged me to every single ‘Fast and Furious' film over the last few years, and I hated them all. But after losing a significant amount of brain function, I actually enjoyed the last one. I liked it when the cars went fast.”
— Dr. Jean MacLachlan, Ph.D.
“What was the question again?”
— Congressman Alan Marber, R-Wyo.
Who knows? After interviewing these people in person without a mask in sight, maybe I'll be lucky enough to get a little brain fog of my own. So in conclusion — wait, what was the point I was trying to make with this? Oh, I can always come back to it later. [Note to self: resolve argument here]
Reminder: buy eggs